Memories

 

I thought it would be a good idea to take a few photos of Joy's home, both as a memory aid for her but also before the property goes on to the market, which is likely before too long. She is continuing to make good progress in respect of her health but gets a little confused. Seeing the house helps her recall where she was prior to the move to us and to be able to remember what was in the gardens, especially her beloved greenhouse.

A good deal of the moving of furniture and so on has begun to get underway which means that inside the house the rooms are largely decluttered and more appealling to potential buyers. In the meantime we are having work done to give Joy an en suite in her room , necessitating work in the room and with the drainage. There's going to be a fair bit of disruption but at least we have anoter room we can put Joy in whilst the work is carried out.

At the same time we are trying to keep things going in as routine a manner as possible. Bridie took Joseph and Maria to London for a visit to the London Dungeons and they have had a brilliant time. I did the garden birdwatch, did a big curry for lunch and have walked the dog plenty, as well as getting the bike out for the first time in 2023. I had a little stop at The Albion for a pint on the way home from Verwood where I went to take the photos.

Winter walk

 And so it goes on. Awake and up at 6 and off into the dark, Juno and I took ourselves off before breakfast and noticed a thawing underway, the hard frosts of recent days absent now. Having got the children off to school, we were soon joined by Gill, the second of two 'nurses' coming in to help with Joy for her first visit and she took charge of Joy's breakfast leaving me to crack on with the jobs for the day, starting with lentil soup for lunch.

I did some bird feeding but brought several feeders in for cleaning, as leaving them dirty becomes dangerous for the birds after a while due to the viruses harboured in amongst the much. That is why greenfinches for example have been in decline, so it is suggested (trichomonosos). It took a while but they are looking a lot better now.

There was time to get the potatoes out for chitting and they'll be left for a few weeks to get some shoots sprouted, speeding up the growing process. 

Juno and I wnet into the woods for our next walk and listened to Audible before I uploaded more documents to the history website and got in touch with the Bournemouth Echo and Radio Solent with press releases plus photos promoting the village hall. We'll see if that brings any response. I was also in touch with a local carpenter regarding work required on the village hall stage and storage, as well as a local school about the children Maypole Dancing at the hall on May Day. The leadership team are going to discuss it, so it may be possible.

Having had lunch, I was off to Morrisons next for some shopping and then had a chat with Glen about the festival with follow up emails about it to local schools and to ticket buyers. It's nice to be able to help out and I have already written the school email to be sent. Ticket sales have started to pick up again and all is looking good.

It really was a lovely afternoon so Juno and did a 3 mile walk before I started on the tea. It was a treat to get out for so long and lifts the spirits. It was toad in the hole for tea with homemade chips and veg, something Maria loves and another episode of US Traitors whilst we ate.

Joy is doing well, certainly compared to where she was. However, her diary is driving me crazy sometimes. She keeps asking what day it is and then reading through the next few entries before asking the date and reading the next few entries and then asking if I wouldn't mind telling her what day it is before reading through the next entries and so on. Distraction techniques are coming to the fore. Poor thing. 

She is now reading a book of poems and she keeps coming across the same ones which she reads aloud along with an explanation of having had to learn it by heart at school e.g. I Wandered Lonely as a Cloud and Who Killed Cock Robin. I wonder how long she would keep going with it. I'm typing this so am just half listening but I am expecting one of them again any moment. 

 

Weekend visitors

It was a busy weekend with plenty of visitors. Joe and the girls were dropped off by Kate early on Saturday and stayed till tea time, after we'd had Joseph for the night prior to his day with his dad. He was back for the night and the rest of the weekend with Bridie away for a few days. At the same time, Summer and Tiger came along for the evening, Summer spending the night before going off for rehearsals. She is performing in a school production of Shrek and in a local pantomime, Sleeping Beauty.

To the mix, we have to add Joy and things are going well with her health, sleeping and eating. There are fewer questions about her home in Verwood but we will see how things go next week when the family discuss next steps.

I was out for plenty of walks and the weather continues cold and frosty, looking fantastic with periods of sunshine. 

Progress

It's been a busy day but one where there's been progress and I have been able to leave Joy to her own devices without too many worries.

Juno and I did our cold mile and a quarter at 6.15 before breakfast with the children and Alison. Once they had gone I was on to the bins, bird feeders, tidying and photographing more documents for the history website. There are a lot covering decades, even going back into the 19th Century and before then. We are uploading them for access to be available to everyone and anywhere.

I was out again into the woods at 10 after spending a bit of time with Joy who had got up for breakfast by 9. Once back, I got her settled and set out for another litter pick and then down to Morrisons. Joy coped really well and was able to enjoy a custard tart for elevenses and then some quiche for lunch. Alison was back by then but soon off again to collect Maria and take her to dance.

I spent some time playing my trumpet for Joy and she sang along to Abide With Me. I actually played it well!! It was also a good time to bring out Ode to Joy. 

Joseph came home and I made a start with the cauliflower curry, rice, spring rolls, samosas, naan bread and sides for tea. Glen joined us unexpectedly but he was very welcome and he made a big fuss of Grandma.

The photo of her was taken as I needed one for an application for a blue badge when we take her out, as she isn't very mobile. The other photo shows how lovely a day it was and the woods were looking great.

More crosswords and less confusion, although it is still there fairly regularly. After 11 days, Joy is like a new person, so maybe the next weeks can move things even further forward.

 

Another day with plenty of sun

I am almost fully recovered from Covid and have been walking further with Juno and more frequently too. That it has been cold and sunny for the past few days has helped enormously, especially after the deluge of the past month. I have felt a good deal happier being out and about with the more solid ground under foot, although taking care with patches of ice. Alison reported 2 cars in the ditch and another on its roof when she drove to work on Tuesday morning, the black ice catching the unwary drivers out.

I popped into the Wimborne allotment this afternoon, a first visit since well before Christmas, and all looks well, plenty of frozen water but nothing damaged or spolit by the weather. I noticed the greens have almost all disappeared, rabbits being the cause, and they have nibbled the onions too. The greens are neither here nor there but the onions and garlic are intended for the spring/summer but they should recover.

I'd parked up at the school to pick Maria up and walked the mile and a quarter down to the allotment across country enjoying the views across the Stour. However, there was a lot of mud, this time thawed and slippery but I made it.

The other photo is from our morning dog walk with a beautiful sunrise.

Here we are

Things have definitely begun to move on with the new arrangements at home. Our early morning routine remains the same with a walk in the dark for me and Juno whilst Maria gets up and ready for school. She's on the bus for 7.15 and Joseph leaves at 7.30. Alison leaves for school at 8.00 and I am starting to get used to then having about an hour and a half to get things done e.g. food prep, feeding the birds, hoovering, doing the bins before making Joy gets up ok. 

Once downstairs, Joy has a pot of tea and slice of toast and marmalade, often accompanied by questions about her home and the date, where other people are and so on. Today Alison was home just before 10.30 and took Joy to church for a coffee morning whilst I took Juno out for a long walk in the frosty woods and then did a litter pick. We all got home together and it was lunch time, soup and salad. Joy is starting to eat better and she is definitely sleeping well.

Glen was in after work before heading off to meetings about the band and he got some food whilst I took Juno and Rag out . Joy watched a bit of telly, having Tipping Point on or knitting or working through a crossword. My next task was cleaning the inside of the motorhome, having washed the outside including roof yesterday. All is looking good now and I managed to get down on my hands and knees to sweep up despite the very cold floor.

I've been chatting with estate agents and setting up appointments for valuation and advice and those meetings are taking place later in the week. 

It was a Mexican food evening for us all, including Joseph and Bridie and I did tacos and tortillas with 'chicken' filling, salad, salsa, sour cream, jack fruit with red pepper, peas, onion, chilli, paprika, cumin and tomato puree. I liked the Mexican rice and it all went down very well, Joy managing a taco and rice. Maria had a huge plate of Macaroni and Cheese which was leftover from yesterday's tea.

Unbelievably, poor Joy was then subject to Love Island, the start of the new series which Maria wanted to watch before starting her school work. She was watching it closely!

I'm off out with Juno in a moment, the frost already hard and we've turned the heating up, particularly for Joy who has the heating on high at home usually. We have it cooler but she needs it turned up. I've got the fire going in the front room too.

Things are settling down and it's going ok so far. There is a lot going on though with the prospect of work in the home to put in en-suite, a stairlift, work on the home in Verwood, direct debits being sorted out and so on, in addition to having an additional person to look after, whilst raising our own daughter, providing childcare for Joseph and having our older children around regularly. It is lovely seeing everyone but we are going to have to be careful of not overdoing things.

Changes

We have had a major change within the household following Joy's recent illness. She celebrated her 89th birthday in bed with a virus which laid her low with no appetite and a degree of anxiety as she became more confused due to the dementia and exhaustion. As a result, on Monday Joy came to be with us and it is most likely she will now remain here as the independence she has enjoyed is outweighed by concerns for her health and wellbeing.

I can't pretend she isn't keen to get back to her own home, although her idea of what that is and where is very hazy, a cottage in the country or in fact just a place she has because they never had any money and could not afford their own home. It's getting back to that sense of familiarity I guess, even though she isn't able to say what that means. However, Woodlands is becoming more familiar to her and she is much improved since 5 days ago. She is eating and drinking again and has been doing her crosswords, playing scrabble and knitting. It's amazing how she has retained a good deal of her knowledge and understanding, getting crossword clues and being able to play scrabble with some degree of skill and competitively. 

It is going to mean a lot of changes for us and the constant care is going to be tiring. On the other hand she has been sleeping well, off to bed around 8pm and up after 9am. She's having little dozes during the day and doesn't need entertaining when awake. You can sit down and watch TV or read or get on with chores without having to interact but it isn't possible to leave her on her own just yet. That may come as she gets a little stronger. We will see.

River running

The river in the woods has been up and over the banks in recent days when it is more usually nothing more than a trickle. If you try to play pooh sticks you have to wait a long time for the twigs to emerge but there's no problem right now. Indeed, the paths reveal several newly fallen trees, their roots undermined by the almost incessant rain of late. 

I have had two walks with Juno today, almost 2.5 miles and have boosted my daily steps to 3000 a day which is only just 14500 steps below target, the result of continuing to feel tired after any effort whatsoever. That's the only lingering symptom a week after testing positive for covid but it may take a while to more fully recover.

It's been nice having Joe and Kate over for dinner, Kate cooking it which was wonderful, along with Evie and Amelia, joined by Bridie and Joseph later in the day. It's a big help after the demands on Alison's time and patience with Joy being unwell. Glen has also had Juno until yesterday which also made a difference to the shape of the days. It's been much appreciated, the additional support.

Up and down again

I've been feeling a bit better for the last 24 hours and got up for a good deal of the day yesterday and again this morning. Trying to do a bit to be of help. I took Juno out this morning and then did a couple of simple things like emptying the dishwasher and putting the recycling out. It was easier than in recent days with the incessant rain having eased off but I am feeling it now.

It has exhausted me. It doesn't feel like tentatively finding my way back to feeling normal, it really feels like I have been drained and I don't like it at all. The dog walking for example is something I love, even in the wet. It feels like I am going to be taking some time to get back to several miles at a time.

Having walked an average of 16670 steps last year, 3000 more a day than the previous year, I was wanting to get to 17500 for 2023, having Juno making it easier to get myself out there. I've got tens of thousands of steps to catch up with already! However, it doesn't really matter too much as long as I can take it easy and be sensible in resting between short bursts of activity.

Covid now, USA later

 

I have been laid low with covid again, 18 months since the last occasion but with the same headache which accompanied the virus in 2021. It's meant plenty of rest over the past couple of days after staying up for the New Year on Saturday evening but at the same time our plans for the summer have been taking shape. 

We met up with Chris and Gail in the autumn and spoke about maybe visiting them in Philadelphia and Chris rang yesterday to see what our plans were. Coincidentally he is currently suffering from covid too but is at the tail end of it. The outcome is that we have booked flights to the US in July for just over a fortnight and Maria is just so excited. It will be a great way to celebrate our 60th birthdays, me this year and Alison next, as well as our 40th wedding anniversary. 10 years ago it was Ibiza for a week, this time we are setting off from Heathrow to Newark airport.

Chris is going to plan our trip using their place as our base, so we'll be in Philadelphia where we can head out to New York for a weekend away, across to Gettysburg, down to Washington and then to Cape May for a few days. They go there each year for a fortnight and it coincides with our visit, so we will join them at a beach place on the atlantic coast, the oldest resort in the US apparently. It promises to be quite a trip and we are very fortunate to be able to rely on their hospitality in making it possible. Maria is going to have an incredible experience.

Books 2022

 Library

Coming Up For Air by George Orwell
A Month In The Country by J L Carr
Crossroads by Mark Radcliffe
The Strawberry Thief by Joanne Harris
The Bird Room by Chris Killen
Pessimism for Beginners by Sophie Hannah
A Legacy of Spies by John le Carre
Five Little Pigs by Agatha Christie
Shuggie Bain by Douglas Stuart
Agent Running In The Field by John Le Carre
An Untidy Death by Simon Brett
When I Hit You by Mena Kandasamy
Kick Back by Val McDermid
Tess if the D’Urbevilles by Thomas Hardy
Weather Detective by Peter Wohlleben
The Winter Ghosts by Kate Mosse

Audible
Beautiful World Where Are You by Sally Rooney
Why Food Matters by Paul Freedman
The Thursday Murder Club by Richard Osman
Half Of A Yellow Sun by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
Cranford by Elizabeth Gaskell
The Power of Geography by Tim Marshall
North and South by Elizabeth Gaskell
Young Mungo by Douglas Stuart
Companion Piece by Ali Smith
The Man Who Died Twice by Richard Osman
The Promise by Damon Galgut
Bad Actors by Mick Herron
Wrong Place Wrong Time by Gillian McCallister
Under the Greenwood Tree by Thomas Hardy
The Ink Black Heart by Robert Galbraith
The Bullet That Missed by Richard Osman
Back in the Day by Melvyn Bragg
The Great Gatsby by F Scott Fitzgerald
The Turn of the Screw by Henry James
Three Men In A Boat by Jerome K Jerome
Heart Full of Headstones by Ian Rankin
Brave New World by Aldous Huxley
Merchant of Venice by William Shakespeare

Kindle
Around the World In 80 Days by Jules Verne
The Canterville Ghost by Oscar Wilde
Antigone by Sophocles
The Keeper of Stories by Sally Page
The Thirty Nine Steps by John Buchan
A Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess
The Snow Was Dirty by Georges Simenon
The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie by Muriel Spark
The Sign Of Four by Arthur Conan Doyle
The Red House Mystery by A A Milne
My Name is Lucy Barton by Elizabeth Strout
Call Of the Wild by Jack London
Sum by David Eagleman